THOMAS L. CHIU

HE CALLED HER


A BRATWURST IN AUGSBURG

Dearest Alois,

I bumped into a family friend, Mr. Ernst Burns, who in the course of his business engagement in the far East, informed me of where you have been residing.

You left abruptly after the war for reasons I have yet to fathom.

We think of you and often wonder where you had gone to and what kind of life you have pursued. I tell you, the thought of you out there in the distance has kept us moving in ways that, perhaps, would have been different had you been with us.

Heidi, our older sister, was not amused when I mentioned that Mr. Burns found you, and that I am currently writing you. From what I have sensed, she must have felt a pang, a very deep one, I am afraid. She managed to say that you had died many times in her heart. She claims I have given her a myth.

You being gone left a permanent dent, in some ways, to all of us here. I do not blame you. War. Yes. War has kept us together and has torn us apart.

Recently while cleaning the attic, I came upon an old book of yours, Grimm Brothers, inside of which was a piece of torn paper with the printed word "Bratwurst," underlined in red ink. I suppose only you would know what it means.

I did not know how you would feel about receiving this letter. I hope it is not the tap of a blackbird on your door step. It is a jubilation of sorts, to have this news come to us, although fifty years late. No matter. As long as this note reaches you, it is enough for me.

You have come to us already. This is a gift, coming, as it were, at a time when most of us are beginning to feel empty-having crossed half of one's lifetime.

Your loving brother,

Hans


Dearest Hans,

I have been languishing for home, for you and for Heidi. I have all of you in my mind and heart all these years. Many times in the past, I had made attempts to reach you, but have always been unable to bring myself to writing you.

I have, as you have learned from Mr. Burns, been roaming, seeing people, touching places, making a living, but frightfully not living it. I have almost exhausted all my senses, and now, writing you is one way of trying to make sense again. Indeed, Mr. Burns had also wondered why I let time lapse. After weeks of pondering upon the Bratwurst you mentioned, I finally recognized the significance of it.

You recall Frederickstrasse, the tiny cobbled street that jutted like a lancet onto the town square? At precisely that corner, facing the clock tower, there was a vendor of bratwurst whom I visited often during the war. I remember him because he gave me bratwurst. In those days, we did not have much meat at home. The bratwurst was the only supreme pleasure I experienced, making numb our habitual hunger and despair. On the other hand, it was also like partaking something one should not have. I do not know.

The vendor was a very old man, feeble yet engaging. He told me stories, including some by the Grimm Brothers. We sang. The songs and the bratwurst brought us together amidst the misery that engulfed us. He did not seem to be distressed. Of course, I was only a child then. How could I see through his jovial laughing face? Maybe he sang with me to blow away all his pains and misfortunes-while you built your life contentedly (or so it seemed), in the sanctuary of Augsburg. I trooped from moment to moment, neither searching nor gathering roots. I realize now I should have begun the process of building from those days of songs and bratwurst.

Is it too late, Hans?

Love to Heidi,

and to you,

Alois


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